January 8, 2009

I live in a van down by the river

Posted in Everyday at 5:26 am by ListenMaudy

There are some sketchy vans that park nearby our apartment. They are one of the reasons that I tend not to walk too far from our apartment when I walk the dogs alone. I’m not actually afraid of the people in these particular vans, since they’re always there. It’s more the thought that this is an attractive place for people who drive sketchy vans that makes me want to stay inside.

There are two large construction sites on the next block, so there are also two small motor homes parked there to monitor the sites. Those ones aren’t so bad. There also seem to be some motor homes and vans owned by  workers at the construction site. Those are way scarier since they come and go. They also have dogs tied up outside and bicycles or motorcycles. (I know, two chihuahuas tied to a motor home shouldn’t be scary, but YOU try walking by it at night!)

One of our favorite vans is an all black number. We have seen the guy who lives in it a number of times. He frequently sits either in the driver’s seat of the van or in his car, which is parked directly in front of the van. Sometimes the van door is open so we can see all the naked ladies he has pinned onto it. I like to imagine that he had to pin them to the door because every other surface inside the van is already covered with pictures of naked ladies. I try not to imagine that he masturbates while sitting in the front seat.

I assume this guy has some sort of job since he has a car, and the car seems to move. It isn’t always parked in the exact same place. What kind of job do you have when you live in a van, though? I’m pretty sure the van doesn’t have running water inside it, a fact that leads to all kinds of other, grosser questions that I  am going to try to avoid. <shudder>

The guy himself doesn’t seem that scary, but geez, that van is kind of terrifying, with it’s matte black paint and its blacked out windows. Plus, if that van is sitting out on the street, and no one bats an eye at it, what kind of other stuff is going on?

Have I mentioned that I cannot wait to move into our own house?

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